Hello, fellow procrastinators.
Yes, you‘re safe here. The ultimate skill of looking busy is essentially the subtle art of facial construction that perfectly depicts the “You-shall-not-approach-me-I'm-rather-occupied" expression. Now, furrow your eyebrows, lightly touch your temple, then rest your hands on your chin to indicate you're thinking, and proceed to read these random, yet pretty much useless facts instead of doing whatever task you're currently avoiding.
1. A “butt” is a unit of measurement equivalent to 126 gallons.
2. Ants can’t take fall damage because their terminal velocity isn’t fast enough to break their exoskeleton.
3. If your entire body healed as fast as your tongue, you would starve to death.
4. You'd have to eat around 1,888,000 pieces of paper to reach your daily 2,000 calories.
5. The types of skin on your butthole and lips are the same.
6. The bananas we based artificial banana flavoring on were [nearly] wiped out by a blight, which is why artificial banana tastes so different from real bananas.
7. Osama Bin Laden had the Charlie bit my finger video saved on his computer.
8. Polar bears are the only land animal that can't be seen on heat-sensing radar.
9. Cows can walk upstairs but not downstairs.
10. The disease for which volcanic ashes enter and infect the lungs is called pneumenoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
11. "Percussive maintenance" is the name of hitting something till it works.
12. Cannibalism is legal in Germany.
13. The stegosaurus is as ancient to the triceratops as the triceratops is to us.
14. The Flinstones was the first prime-time television show to depict a married couple sharing a bed.
15. There is an animal in Russia called the Russian bearcat and it has an oil gland that makes it smell like popcorn.
16. The combination of an exclamation point and question mark is an interrobang. (‽)
17. It is illegal to have sex with a trucker inside of a toll booth in Nebraska, USA.
18. There were originally ten months in a calendar year. July and August were added later, named after Julius and Augustus Caesar, respectively.
19. Tarantulas can survive for up to two years without eating.
20. If you farted for 6 years straight, you could produce enough energy for an atomic bomb.
21. Nicholas Cage is on the cover of a Serbian biology textbook.
22. The longest movie ever made is called "The Cure for Insomnia" and is 5220 minutes long.
23. Procrastination is often involuntary, as evidenced by the many procrastinators who agree with the statement “No matter how much I try, I still put things off”.
Now, get back to work.
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