To be in love and happy are one of the few things we often crave for in life. It is nice to have someone care for you more than anyone else, and do whatever it is they can, to make you happy. 

Unfortunately, relationships are never like what we see on television screens. In reality they are flawed, and require a lot of effort to get to a place of happiness. 

Many times though, in our attempts to hold on to that make-believe vision of happiness, we forget about how we deserve to be treated, and settle for how we are being treated. 

There are many things our partners may do, we brush off. But believe it or not, these can very quickly become the building blocks to an unhealthy, toxic relationship. 

What are they? Here are 5.

#1 When he brags about being a good guy

A good guy, doesn't need to tell you he's a good guy. One does not need to keep telling the world they're a good person, or that they are 'not like the other guys'. If he is telling this to you, he probably is not a good guy. 

#2 When he plays the victim

When a man decides to be the victim, instead of just owning up for his flaws, then you know he has gaslighting tendencies. He makes you believe he's the victim, and you end up apologizing. 

#3 When he says 'I'm sorry, I'll change'

'I'm sorry, I'll change' only actually means something when those same words is followed by action. Repeating it time and time again with nothing to match, holds no water. 

At the end of the day, someone will only change when they want to. So, as long as he is saying it and isn't doing it, then no. 

#4 When he controls you in the name of love

Using soft-control, or words of affection to micromanage your choices, is a very real scenario. For instance, a simple example of someone saying 'Can you not grow out your hair? I love how you look with short hair'. 

Despite his preferences, you should be able to do whatever you want, and he should support you for it. 

#5 When he blames you for his failures

When he fails at something, or feels incompetent in any way, that is completely because he decided to feel that. It in no way reflects on you. 

A man who is toxic, will make you guilty for being better than he is, because he is too stubborn to just change himself. 

The list to subtle red flags is an extremely long one, and most times, we know them, yet choose to ignore them, just so that we can feel something. But most every time as well, the pain is not worth it. 

You shouldn't be allowing yourself to get hurt, simply because you're in love with the person holding the knife.