More often than not, divorce is perceived as a bad thing that should not even be thought of when entering a marriage, especially in Malaysia. It is perceived as something that can not only ruin your reputation but also the reputation of your family. On top of that, women who get divorced are often seen as weak. 

This perception has caused many women and also men to stay in marriages that no longer make them happy or in some bad cases they even stay in abusive marriages. But, how long do you want to be trapped in a loveless and unhappy marriage? Not only will this negatively impact you but also the people around you and worst of all have a negative long term effect on your children if you have any. 

What people don't tell you about getting a divorce is that in some cases it might just be the best decision you ever made. It makes you a stronger and more empowered person, here's why:

1. Marriage gives you security, divorce gives you a chance at living a free life

While being in marriage gives you security because you know what's going to happen for the next few years of your life, divorce gives you hope - hope to be who you want to be, to be happy and to heal. 

2. You get to focus on yourself, finally!

After a divorce, you finally get to discover yourself, find out things about yourself that you never knew before and learn how to love yourself again. You'll find empowerment when you see yourself getting through the divorce and healing yourself, just knowing that you have the power to do that will change how you look at yourself. 

3. You can grow and be your true self

When you're married to someone for so long, you forget who you are as an individual because you identify yourself merely as one part of a couple. You are defined as who you are in your marriage. You don't have your own space to grow and achieve what you desire in your life and your career which is what you can do when you are separated. 

#4 You learn that being alone is actually better 

There's a huge difference between being lonely and being alone. While at first, you might feel lost in the pain of loneliness, of not having someone to rely on, soon you'll realise that being alone is a gift rather than a loss. You'll realise that being alone is better than being with someone and still feeling like you're all alone. You'll learn how to be happy by just spending time with yourself. 

#5 You'll learn how to be more independent

Marriage might seem easier since most responsibilities are divided between you and your spouse, and after a divorce, you are suddenly responsible for everything which can be overwhelming at first. But, as you slowly learn how to juggle all these extra responsibilities you'll realise how amazing you are because you don't have to rely on anyone else to get things done when you can do it on your own! How empowering is that?!  

#6 You're setting a good example for your kids

If you have kids, you need to understand that as they grow they will seek out and emulate the types of relationships they see modelled. If they see you staying in a toxic and unhealthy relationship, they will think that they too have to settle for it. Getting a divorce shows them that it is okay to choose their own happiness and that they should never settle for anything else in their own lives.

Have you gotten a divorce? How did it change you? Share your experience in the comments section below!