Why is it so difficult to care for yourself despite knowing self-care is important? That's probably because you kept betraying yourself.

You betrayed yourself when you do things that made you unhappy. Sometimes, you still do it because you want to be nice.

But, nobody actually needs you to be nice unless they will appreciate it. 

If someone didn't appreciate your kindness, you need to stop betraying yourself. 

How do you know when you betrayed yourself?

This is how it looks like when you betrayed yourself

You said to them, 'Yeah, I am down to watch that movie.' But, deep down, you actually rather go for a walk.

They said something hurtful to you when they are having a bad day or stressful day. But, you want to be understanding. 

You replied, 'Don't worry, it didn't actually hurt my feelings.' - Actually, their words hurt you deeply. 

These are signs of you having weak emotional boundaries. In simple words, you let people walk over you easily.

Why did you do that?

Usually is because you don't know how to say no

Saying no seems like an impossible task for you. There might be a lot of reasons, such as want to be understanding to people, people overreacted when you said no or you don't want to upset people.

Perhaps you just don't know how does a healthy relationship look like. A healthy relationship should look like this:

In short, a healthy relationship should be able to respect each other. Despite both of you have different ways of handling things, he or she should respect and honour your way. 

Even it is difficult to see each other's perception, he or she will try to empathise you. 

Most importantly, they won't make you feel stupid for pouring your heart out.

So, how do I care for myself?

You could set some personal boundaries to protect yourself

Setting a boundary might sound like you draw a line between people and push people away. 

Yes, sometimes you just need to do that when you are too overwhelmed with people.

Here's how you should set your boundaries:

One thing you should bear in mind when you do your first attempt. The other person is gonna overreact and that's perfectly normal.

Give them some buffering time and be firm. Tell them, 'it takes a lot of courage for me to be able to say this and I hope you could respect my decision.'

Personal boundary might be too big an idea for people to grasp. So, be firm and let things sink in.

What else can you do to care for yourself?

Practice love language to yourself

Love language is important in all relationships. Read here to find out more.

People might not be able to love you the way you wanted. You could still give the love you desired to yourself.

People hurt you for a lot of reasons. You triggered their unresolved trauma or they projected things on you.

They don't love themselves enough to love others. Or, they love themselves too much but don't know how to love other people.

But, whatever the reasons are, it's definitely not because you are unworthy. 

You can still love yourself. When you have too much love for yourself, other people's love becomes just a bonus to you. 

Their love became a bonus instead of a necessity for you.

Once you've done your part, let go.

Let them go. Let things sink in and heal themselves. Let yourself heal and to be able to breathe. 

Don't get too frustrated if you can't leave an unhealthy relationship

Unhealthy relationships included a relationship with your lover, family members, friends or even co-workers.

We are merely a human being and we change all the times. We need many trials and errors to accomplish things.

If you can't leave an unhealthy relationship, you probably need to see this:

If you are an indecisive person, you could start baby steps to care for yourself. Such as:

It's a long journey to heal and set the boundary. Take your time and I urge you to start caring for yourself. Because you are worthy.