For all the risks we take in life, Love is one of it. As you wholly and completely allow yourself to love, sometimes you end up getting your heart broken. But what's for sure is that, through every heartbreak, you don't walk out empty-handed. You learn something out of it.

1. YOU CAN & WILL LOVE AGAIN

Some people seem to exude love as naturally as the sun generates heat. Then there's the rest of us - finding falling in love like rocket science. If by any coincidence that you're like me, it is such a rare scene to fall in love but when you really do, you go hard... So hard that sometimes you end up broken, thinking that you're never ever gonna fall in love again - or at least not in the same way. NOT TRUE. I dwelled on one heartbreak far too long, almost losing hope in love. But believe me, after shredding your heart into pieces - you will love again. You have to because you're so much more than that broken person.

2. IT'S OK TO BE VULNERABLE 

I stayed in a r/s for 5 whole years and it has been a rollercoaster ride. On our 4th year, i told him that being with him is like the 1st few seconds on rollercoaster as the cart climbs slowly up the hill. With our hearts pumping of excitement while we try to build up the strength to scream because we want no turning back. We lean back, relax and deep down inside, eager to get on with the ride. Truth is, i left out the down side - the unexpected twists and turns. We shoved our insecurities, flaws and quirks down our throats and wear our ultimate chill masks at all times. To be honest, it felt like there was lesser chance for either of us to get hurt. WRONG! I feel a big part of being in a r/s is to be greatly involved with each other - to be completely naked - emotionally. If you can't be honest with him, maybe its just not meant to be. Oh i know it will get ugly, but if he can't take you at your worst, he probably don't deserve you at your best. 

3. TALK

It's not really about the quantity but the quality. More communication is not parallel with good communication. I once hit rock bottom in a r/s with someone who's averse to conflict. And after several attempts of arguing with him (with no outcome), i learned his way of burying my emotions to please. But this gradually eroded our r/s and it backfired - with extreme criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling each time we tried to 'talk'. We all have different ways of expressing ourselves, and perhaps you're dating someone who 's just not comfortable going all out painting the picture he has in mind. It's okay, I learned to be empathetic with the other person's way. After all, you don't just go around looking for your perfect fit; you learn to see the perfection in an imperfect person. You don't always have to agree with the other person, as long as you're both on the same r/s page.

4. US BEFORE YOU/ME - BUT DON'T LOSE YOURSELF

I really hate the idea of r/s of two people becoming one. It should be the partnership of 2 distinctive people bringing something unique to the r/s. So yes, please maintain your individuality! i was once forced to stay in with my then boyfriend because he claimed that 'we should do everything together'. At that specific moment, he did not feel like meeting my friends, so i couldn't either. I'm all into the idea of investing a shared concept of 'us' to make a r/s work but this does not imply one party should be more powerful than the other. The best kind of r/s to me is where both parties complement each other and if we're lucky enough, it will be as per Lauv - 'i like me better when i'm with you'.

6. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

We have to admit sometimes we tend to get a little negative and we feel like everything is just going the right way - or your way... I often find myself absorbing others' emotions. I mostly feel like crap after listening to my friend's heartbreak or work drama. Sometimes i notice how quickly i lament about r/s problems and how slowly i acknowledge the joys - its crazy. Especially after some time of being together, obviously its not gonna be all smooth-sailing, so i resort to my personal remedy - i take few big gulps of water and start working on a list in my head on the good parts about this person or our r/s. Because we might have taken the other person for granted and its nice to tap into your memory to find beautiful experiences and qualities about someone every now and then. Hey, you can try my way and hope it helps!

7. DON'T GIVE UP BECAUSE IT'S ROUGH

Because there is no such thing as a r/s that never hits a rough patch. I think i was once the girl who think r/s is all about the thrill and excitement of being in love. RIDICULOUS. Because it really takes a lot of hard work to make things work. I have gone through so many heartbreaks, mental turmoil and sometimes burning rage and i still find myself trapped in that rough patch! But after practicing my personal remedy as aforementioned, i usually define whether it's a bad match or just a rough patch. I don't know what exactly are the criteria of either one of them, but if you honestly still find yourself wanting to hold on, go for it. 

8. BUT IT'S OK TO WALK AWAY FROM LESS THAN YOU DESERVE

The point is that there are times when you should be willing to call a spade a spade. And if you know the person you're dating can't/won't take the relationship seriously, then its time to find someone else who make the cut. Don't let the heart that didn't love you keep you from the one that will. Never settle for anything lesser than you deserve. Because someone can be madly in love with you, but still not ready for settling down. They can give you the best feeling in the world, but still refuse to join you on the bridge. You just never have to convince someone to do the work to be ready for you. I think it took me a lot of courage to walk away from toxic relationships or those that just couldn't make it, but it's okay, i found my integrity. 

When love fails you, you basically feel like you've just got punched right in the heart. Its the kind of pain that drives you insane. You would probably insist to have a few rounds of Jaggerbomb shots (shoutout to those who are still willing to be by your side at this exact moment!) on a week night, send 21 voice messages to your ex in within 10 minutes, spend all travel funds that you and your ex shared on new furniture and other unnecessary items because 'nothing matters anymore'. You just can't help it because this has got to do with the hormones coursing through your system during this emotional period. 

Ironically, these are the very same hormones that make you so ridiculously happy while you're falling in love. 

So, have faith? :)