Talking or Communicating is the main important key in our life. Every day in our life, we talked to so many people. We talked to our parents, our friends, our colleagues, our partners, our employee/emloyer, our client, our customer and a lot of different parties.
Talking, everyone knows. But not everyone knows how to talk. I believe that there is a moment in our life we actually didn’t really think about what are we going to talk. All we do is just says out the thing that we WANT to say without having a second thought. And this often will lead to a miscommunication, something not-so-good that happened between the 2 parties. One will start feeling odd/weird or maybe even worse hurts and sad with all the words that someone said unintentionally.
The key here is TALK and communicate. Try to understand what is happening, try to think from your partner, your friend’s perspective. Try to understand why are reacting this way and does this actually lead to their personality. If your partner, your friend is someone blunt then try not to take it to seriously as they are always like this. This is how they talk. Or even if you feel like you are really not comfortable with it then raise up your concern and TALK. Let him/she knows that you are not happy, you feel hurts with his/her words. Also, try to set the boundaries so both of you are actually aware that there is this line that both of you should never cross. The process is indeed tough but what you get after is that you will fix your relationship. The bond will eventually get stronger as both of you no longer keeping any hard feelings deep down the heart.
Next, silent treatment. I believe most of us have at least experience once or even more than that silent treatment in our life. What does a silent treatment truly mean? It means that when both of you be it couple or friend has got nothing to say to each other cause both of you having your own assumption about each other.
The best way to solve this is also via TALKING / COMMUNICATE. Talk all the things that you have in your mind, open your heart and be honest with each other. The only solution to this is to talk. Talking also indicating that you actually appreciate the relationship hence you are taking a step to try to understand the problem and take the initiative to solve it. We can always say that we appreciate our partner but ask yourself, do you actually do things to show appreciation? Little things in life show your appreciation. Talk the way out, but remember, you decide to talk and talk it nicely and calmly. Do not lose your temper halfway while talking even if the opposite is not being nice. Be patience and understand the situation now. Then listen, remember that the LISTENING is the part where you are listening to understand not listen to reply or argue.
Talking is easy, but how to talk is not easy. Always think before you speak. Is not everything you say are things that someone want to hear. I have a friend who never ever say something that I would like to hear. We are super close but whats from his mouth have always been a bad thing about me. Till a day I couldn’t take it anymore and I decided to talk about it then he told me he is not someone expressive. He said that just because he is comfortable with me and he thinks I can take it without holding any grudges but deep down his heart he appreciates me and he told me the way he shows his appreciation is something very different. And before I decided to talk, we actually went into the ‘cold war’ silent zone for 2 weeks which we did not talk at all. But he said he did talk and his assumption of talking is ‘Will you buy mini cooper next time?’ My answer is “No’’ then we went into the library kind of quiet mode again. This form of talking is not TALKING, is a Q&A session which one asked you a question and you answered it then close job. Please don’t ever categorize this as part of ‘talking’ or ‘communicating’ cause this is not helping the relationship any.
This is the art of talking that I mentioned and I hope this article actually will help. Be ready to lose your partner/ friend if the talking moment is no longer there. Talk and learn to stay calm and always put yourself in their shoes if you want to fix the issue.
