While we do get to choose our life-long partners unfortunately we don't get to choose our in-laws, they come as a package deal like a buy 1 get 5 free, but you can't choose the free stuff, kinda deal.
Some people get lucky and get the best in-laws, most of the time they're just a little annoying but the worst kind of in-laws are the TOXIC ones! In case you're still confused as to whether your in-laws are the annoying ones or the straight-up toxic ones, here's a whole list of the various types of toxic in-laws, let's see if they check any boxes:
#1 The Judgy Ones
By far the worst kind of in-laws are the judgy ones who seem to disapprove of everything. The food you cook is too oily, the way you organise your home is too messy, the way you dress up is too inappropriate, your job isn't distinguished enough and everything you do seems to be wrong! Whenever they say they're coming over you just get stressed and try your best to make everything at home seem perfect but even so, they still find something to criticise. When they leave, you just feel like the most flawed person on earth.
#2 The Over-Dependant One
These kinds of in-laws can never seem to do anything on their own. They constantly need your spouse to rush over to their house to do something for them. They pretend to be completely helpless although they have been doing everything for themselves and for their children their whole lives. This normally happens when the other parent isn't there or when their spouse isn't supportive. They use their child as a surrogate spouse and get their emotional needs from their child. They don't realise that since you come first and get very angry when your partner/their child puts your first.
#3 The Guilt-Tripper
One of their catchphrases is: I raised you and this is how you show your appreciation. They constantly emotionally manipulate your partner so that things always go their way. So you planned a romantic trip with your partner, next thing you know your in-law is coming too because they asked your partner if they could come and when your partner said no they said "All I want to do is spend time with you. Nowadays you barely spend any time with me. You don't take me on trips at all, when you were young I always took you whenever I went on holiday and now this is how I am repaid?"
#4 The 'We're Family Now' Ones
These kinds of in-laws are the ones who feel like just because you married their child you are now 100% their family and have to be totally involved in everything they do and they have to be totally involved in everything you do. They are going on a weekend trip, you have to come too even if you're working or if you're tired and just want to relax at home, you need to go because you're family and families do things together. There's no opt-out option for you, you married their child and total involvement was in their terms and conditions.
#5 The Controllers
The controllers are the kind of in-laws who believe that your partner is incapable of doing anything on their own and they have to get involved to make sure your partner does things right. They get involved in every single aspect of your partner's life and sometimes even yours! They treat both of you like children who don't know how to do anything on your own. They buy groceries for you, they cook for you, they are always at your home doing the housework which might seem like they are just trying to be nice but then they start making all your big decisions for you and your partner, so make sure it doesn't get to that stage.
#6 The 'No Boundaries In Families' Ones
If you have in-laws who ignore all boundaries then they are definitely under this category. Still unsure what it means? You tell them you are uncomfortable with them visiting unannounced, goes what they'll do? They'll visit unannounced. They try to pry and find out about everything that's going on between you and your partner, even the intimate stuff and then they go and tell every other family member about it. Whenever you and your partner are having a private conversation, they demand to know what is going on and if you don't get them involved they complain about it to everyone else in the family. There is no such thing as privacy with them, whenever they are over, they don't think there's anything wrong with going through your stuff.
#7 The One With An Addiction Problem
Most of the time when an in-law struggles with addiction, it can be heartbreaking to see how it affects your partner and to be honest it can have an effect on you as well. They are constantly in trouble and your partner is the one who has to put out the fire every time. Your plans are always put aside to deal with emergencies involving your in-law. It creates so much stress, heartbreak and chaos that is enough to be considered toxic.
Do you have experience dealing with toxic in-laws? Share how you dealt with them in the comments section, you might be able to help someone with the same problem!
