We all dream of the moment of asking the love of our life to marry us. It'll be a joyous, magical and exciting moment which will be followed by the storybook wedding of our dreams and then we'll be with each other forever and live happily ever after. In our dreams, everything seems so beautiful and perfect but in reality, there are many things to consider before deciding to marry someone.
If you've been overcome with love and feel like the time has come for you to marry your significant other, here are some of the things to think about before doing so:
#1 Is it really love or lust or are you simply settling for that person?
There is a huge difference between lusting for someone and truly loving someone. Lusting for someone is when your connection with the other person is purely sexual and physical but not emotional. And love, which is the only one worthy of an engagement, is a deeply emotional connection accompanied by the desire to be with the other person and strong feelings of affection, intimacy, and commitment to another person. Settling for someone is when you just decide to marry the person because of other factors like your age catching up to you or even because of societal or family pressure.
#2 Your career goals
While love is above all things, each of your careers and what you aim to achieve in your careers is important too. It is important to have a spouse that will not only support but also understand your dreams and goals and why it is important to you. Talk to your partner about it and if it will affect your relationship, talk about how the both of you will handle it when the time comes.
#3 Finances, spending habits and debt situation
After marriage, what's yours is theirs and what's theirs also becomes yours but bear in mind that this isn't just the good things but also their debts and other financial commitments. So, talk about your financial situation openly and understand how the other person spends money. If it isn't quite what you expected, then worry not, at least you know about it now and can make changes and compromises before starting a life together.
#4 Children & parenting
According to social norms, people who get married then have children together but that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone wants children. So talk to your partner about whether or not they want children, and if they do when do they want to start a family and when you have children how do you plan on parenting them. Having children is a huge responsibility, you can't just wake up after having 3 kids one day and decide that you don't want them. So you need to make sure that you're on the same page when it comes to this.
#5 Their family and their relationship with their family
Once you're married, their family becomes yours so it's better to meet and get to know your partner's family before that and learn a little about your partner's relationship with them. It is important to also build meaningful connections with them because they are going to be in your life for the rest of your life.
#6 How you deal with conflict
Even when you're madly in love with someone, there will be small disagreements that happen which is normal and healthy. So when a problem arises how will you deal with it together? Are you just going to sweep it under the rug or talk about it? Do they need some space to calm down and reorganize their thoughts before talking about it with each other? These kinds of things are important to know so that navigating through the hard times will be easier for you, especially after marriage.
#7 Are they on the same page with you about marriage
Before asking your partner to marry you, you need to have the marriage talk. You can start by talking about a friend who recently got hitched and then ask your partner how they feel about marriage. Ask them about their hopes, dreams and plans for the future. If they are heading in the same direction as yours then you're probably going to get your "YES, I WILL MARRY YOU!"
#8 Your sexual chemistry
Let's be honest, sex is a huge part of marriage so sexual chemistry is important. While the emotional connection is important, physical attraction can help you connect deeper and more intimately with the other person. It fuels the relationship and creates intimacy and trust.
So, are you and your partner truly ready for marriage? Share the moment you knew that your partner was the person you're going to spend the rest of your lives with in the comments section!
