Identifying the signs that you’re insecure in your relationship can actually be a tricky process, especially if you’re in too deep already. Insecurities are the weeds that suck out all the life in your relationship and eventually kill it. 

Not only does it affect you, but also your partner. 

The most common breeding ground for insecurities is social media. Looking at your bf’s follower count, his likes, and DMs, it’s just handing you the shovel to dig up a grave for your relationship. 

That is why, instead of ignoring all the signs and leaving your relationship to die in the hands of insecurities, here are some of the signs that you’re insecure in your relationship and need to stop right now before you are in too deep:

1. Seeking constant validation and approval from your partner

One great example of this is always asking your partner for compliments. When you do this, you give someone else the power to determine your worth. Problems will start to arise when the honeymoon period is over, and your partner naturally stops giving out compliments every second of the day. How will that make you feel? 

You need to learn how to love yourself as you are. When you learn to do that, you stop needing people to tell you how good you look for you to believe it. While loving each other in a relationship is important, loving yourself as an individual is also important for a healthy relationship. 

2. You’re constantly checking his phone/social media

You are always going through his phone to check his messages and also social media to see all his new followers, who liked their photos and who are sliding into their DMs. You might think it is completely innocent but actually it is a huge invasion of privacy. When you’re so invested in your bf’s social media activities, every DM every like will start feeling like something negative s ging on. 

You will start creating scenarios in your head that isn’t real at all. For no reason you’re crying yourself to sleep because some random girl liked your bf’s photo. It isn’t good for your mental health at all. Take a deep breath and just stop looking through his phone. Just stop doing it. Trust that he loves you and doesn’t need anyone else. 

3. You don’t want them doing anything without you

If you start feeling anxious when your bf tells you that he is going out for some drinks with friends, I have one thing to say to you: STOP IT RIGHT NOW! If you can’t trust that your partner can be anywhere alone without something happening, it’s time to either revaluate your own insecurities, or the relationship as a whole.

Everyone needs some time for themselves, even you. Instead of pacing up and down the hall worrying about your bf while he’s out, use that time to look after yourself. While he is your whole world, he isn’t really your whole world. You are your whole world. Go have fun with your friends or just chill with yourself at home. Take some time to clear all the negativity and anxiousness in yourself and recentre your thoughts. 

4. You realise that you’re actually encouraging your partners failures 

A happy relationship consists of two people who want to see each other succeed and achieve all their dreams. When you’re insecure in a relationship, you want all your partners successes to be because of you. You don’t want them to succeed on their own because you’re worried that they will start not needing you or not depending on you. You worry that if they start doing better, then they will feel like they are better than you and just push you aside.

Sometimes when they fail, you feel a little bit of satisfaction because you know that now they will need you and suddenly you’re the superhero in the relationship, trying to make them feel better. You feel like you need to constantly be the reason behind all the positivity in their life. This is toxic and if doesn’t stop now, it could be the reason why your relationship fails. 

Conclusion

Sometimes, you just have to face the truth. Even though it is hard, even though the truth shows you that you are the problem, face it and overcome it. 

A relationship should not be built on insecurities. It makes the relationship unstable and eventually, it will all come crashing down, leaving you heartbroken and more insecure. 

Time to start re-evaluating your insecurities and learning how to control them.